Reptoids

Reptoids
Main Information
Lifespan	Hundreds of years
Homeworld	Earth
Sociocultural
Residences	Earth
Capital	Under Yale University, Connecticut, USA
Leadership	Reptoid High Council
Languages	Their own (hisses)
Relationships & Individuals
Allies	Cognito Inc. Shadow Board
Enemies	People who tries to stop the Global Warming Atlantis
Notable Members	PJ and Skwoo Barb Shrike and Zarthax Griswold

“	Just your classic shape-shifiting lizard people that live in secret among humanity.	”
	— J.R. to Brett about the Reptoids

Reptoids are a species of shape-shifting reptile-like humanoids that secretly occupy positions of power and influence. They are at least partially responsible for funding Cognito Inc., in exchange for preventing the world from doing anything about global warming.

History

The Reptoids have lived among humans since time immemorial, as seen in an ancient Egyptian prophecy that said they would eventually overthrow humanity and become the true rulers of Earth. However, according to JR, they say this every year but never do, in turn using their shapeshifting abilities to infiltrate the high elite of human civilizations. They are also one of the 6 secret societies that work for the Shadow Board.

Through history, many Reptoids occupied high positions such as famous politicians, royalty and celebrities. As the human industrial civilization would warm the Earth enough for them, they established a deal with the Cognito Inc., one of the other 6 secret organisations: in turn of funding, the company would halt the advancements of stopping the Global Warming. Besides this, they manipulated the media to increase the main population affection for reptiles, such as the use of Geico Gecko and the movie The Shape of Water, produced by the Reptoid Guilherme Del Toro.

Part 1

In 2021, they held one of their annual gala events underneath the University of Yale, Connecticut. In order to apologize for a disrespectful email he sent to the whole company, Cognito CEO J.R. took his employees to the event to make good impressions and keep their Global Warming contract. As a way to respect their hugging custom, Reagan Ridley used her robots arms to simulate hugs, since her childhood trauma prevented her from doing so. Reagan's idea backfired when she accidentally maimed one of their leaders, which landed her in court. Initially, the Reptoids threatened to go to war against humanity for Reagan's crimes, but due to interference from Rand Ridley, her father, the Reptoids declared peace and returned with their contract with Cognito.

Part 2

The Reptoids were present in the 2022 Bohemian Grove Festival for the competition, but they were disqualified between the Manhunt and the final round.

Appearance

In their human form, they can look indistinguishable from humans. In their reptile form, they have scaly green skin, two-toed feet, and their foreheads and tails are horned. They have slit yellow eyes and scaly eyebrows. They seem to have throat sacks, and their blood is blue. Reptoids have chameleon-like camouflage abilities.

Society

The Reptoids live among different human communities, holding high elite positions such as politicians, celebrities, nobility and royalty. However, some individuals do activities other than these, such as Brett's peers who were members of Yale fraternities. Their stated goal is to replace humanity as Earth's dominant species, although J.R. claim it's just talk. In prime time, they meddle in human elections, pay Cognito to maintain global warming, and get King K. Rool into Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Reptoid society have a lot of likes and dislikes. When meeting a Reptoid, it is polite to offer them a cricket, mouse or vole out of your pocket. The traditional Reptoid greeting is a firm, non-sexual hug as a means of sharing body heat, which increases productivity and stimulates circulation, according to Elliot Mothman's slide presentation. It is considered impolite to use phrases such as "hissy fit" or "see you later, alligator". Besides this, J.R. said to the Cognito team to not point and stare and to not touch their throat sacs.

They are known for they like of masked orgies, even if involves other species, such as humans (Andre Lee) and psychedelic sentient mushrooms (Myc). They annually hold a "Reptoid Gala", which, in 2021, was held at Yale.

Members

• A couple of known Reptoids are real-life celebrities, some of which were made into reptile puns:
  • Abraham Lincoln (according to the opening sequence)
  • Anderson Cooper
  • Bella Thorny (Bella Thorne)
  • Donald Rumsfeld
  • Ellen DeGeneres
  • Guillermo del Toro
  • Hissy Elliott (Missy Elliott)
  • Jennifer Lopezard (Jennifer Lopez)
  • John Scarry (John Kerry)
  • Lizard McGuire (Hilary Duff as her Disney Channel character Lizzie McGuire)
  • Madonna
  • Mark Zuckerberg^† (killed in the Robes' probation)
  • Miley SSSyrus (Miley Cyrus)
  • Naomi Clawbell (Naomi Campbell)
  • Paul Rudd
  • Queen Elizabeth II
  • Scalevin Harris (Calvin Harris)
  • Snake Gyllenhaal (Jake Gyllenhaal)
  • Taylor Swift
• PJ and Skwoo (Brett's frat colleagues)
• Barb Shrike and Zarthax Griswold (representatives of the Reptoid High Council)
• Jzzzthxx Jhonson^† (725 BCE - 2021 CE)
• Zurlock the Merciless^† (500 BCE - 2021 CE)

Trivia

• Their favorite Hogwarts house is Slytherin, fitting the reptile theme.
• All Reptoids have blue blood. As many of them are nobility or royalty, this also makes them (both figuratively and literally) blue blooded.
• They can change color to blend in with their surroundings.
• According to Shion Takeuchi, Reptoids have two big subterranean nests, one of which is under New Haven, Connecticut.
• They also hate Atlantis, as seen in Reagan's speech in "Blue Blood".